/* AUTHOR: Jaco Stadler */ /* CREATION DATE: 24/11/2003 */ /*Scrolling status bar */ /*Important Notices */ scrollText(0) //------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- var textnumber = 84 ; var randomnumber = Math.random() ; var rand1 = Math.round( (textnumber-1) * randomnumber) + 1 ; text = new Array text[0] = "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the weekend! - an adaptation of a wise Chinese saying" text[1] = "The problem with the rat race is even if you win you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin " text[2] = "When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?" text[3] = "Quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who never quit AND never win are idiots." text[4] = "To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge it, requires brains." text[5] = "In politics, stupidity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte" text[6] = "You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you." text[7] = "The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. - Helen Hayes (aged 73) " text[8] = "The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who still does." text[9] = "A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem - but the one is still better than the other." text[10] = "The victor will never be asked if he told the truth. - Adolf Hitler" text[11] = "Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than: I thank you." text[12] = "The most certain test by which we judge whether a country is really free is the amount of security enjoyed by minorities. - Lord Acton (1834-1902) - English historian" text[13] = "When you're in it up to your ears, at least close your mouth!" text[14] = "Butterflies are not insects, they are selfpropelled flowers. - Heinlein" text[15] = "Ask why until you understand." text[16] = "A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top. " text[17] = "Remember there is no I in team ... (but there is an M and an E)." text[18] = "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. - Martin Luther King, Jr." text[19] = "We do best to understand ourself. We do worst in understanding others." text[20] = "The future will be better tomorrow. - Dan Quayle" text[21] = "The older I get, the better I was!" text[22] = "When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?" text[23] = "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's looking." text[24] = "At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time. - (from Side Effects) - Woody Allen - American humorist, director, actor, author" text[25] = "11th commandment - Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Pentium." text[26] = "Three things are certain: death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred..." text[27] = "Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight." text[28] = "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. - Ambrose Bierce" text[29] = "Common sense is that layer of prejudices which we acquire before we are sixteen. - Albert Einstein" text[30] = "Indecision is the key to flexibility. Flexibilty is the key to nothing substantial." text[31] = "Honour thy father and thy mother stands written among the three laws of most revered righteousness. - Aeschylus (525-456 BC) - Ancient Greek soldier, playwright" text[32] = "To be or not to be, that is the question. - William Shakespeare" text[33] = "Sin is its own punishment. - Sigmund Freud" text[34] = "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." text[35] = "To err is human but to really mess things up for you, you need a computer." text[36] = "Do not clutch the hand of God in fear but rather hold on to it in faith. - John Wright" text[37] = "Priority is a function of context. - Stephen Covey" text[38] = "Not houses finely roofed or the stones of walls well builded, nay nor canals and dockyards make the city, but men able to use their opportunity. - Alcaeus (7th century BC) - Ancient Greek poet and satirist" text[39] = "Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself." text[40] = "When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice." text[41] = "Go as far as you can see, and when you get there, you will see farther." text[42] = "Growing up is the process we go through to learn to cope with the process of growing up." text[43] = "Don't worry about life - you are not going to survive it anyway." text[44] = "It is easier to fight for your principles than live up to them. - Alfred Adler" text[45] = "When God measures someone, He puts the measure around their hearts instead of their heads." text[46] = "Your marriage may have been made in Heaven, but the maintenance must still be done on earth!" text[47] = "Many a good person have failed because they had their wishbone where their backbone should have been." text[48] = "The people you associate with are like the buttons on a lift - they either take you up or they take you down." text[49] = "The mighty Oak was once a nut, but he stood his ground." text[50] = "If you insist on having the last word, let it be I am Sorry." text[51] = "Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you are going to get. - Forrest Gump" text[52] = "The philosphy of the schoolroom in the one generation will be the philosophy of government for the next. - Abraham Lincoln" text[53] = "The most dangerous of all falsehoods is a slightly distorted truth. - G. C. Lichtenberg (1742-1799) German physicist, writer" text[54] = "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something." text[55] = "There are obviously two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live. - James Truslow Adams" text[56] = "Mrs. Morse to Sam: Stop tapping your fingers on the table, it's driving me crazy!" text[57] = "The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement" text[58] = "An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame." text[59] = "Be a hero to yourself in your own life." text[60] = "If you are not willing to die for something you passionately believe in, you may just as well die today!" text[61] = "Confession without repentance is just bragging. - Rev. Eugene Bolton" text[62] = "I'm like a mosquito in a nudist camp; I know what I should to do, but I don’t know where to start!" text[63] = "Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math." text[64] = "Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool." text[65] = "After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, I was a fool when I married you. She replied, Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." text[66] = "Respect is something that must be earned. Grace is something that is given. Isn\'t it great that we don't have to earn God's grace or respect?" text[67] = "I am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Winston Churchill" text[68] = "Don't believe all you hear; spend all you have and sleep all you want - yea right!" text[69] = "A cynic is a person who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." text[70]="I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!" text[71]="Your teeth are so yellow, I can\'t believe it's not butter!" text[72]="Your talent is God's gift to you. How you use it is your gift to God." text[73]="A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory." text[74]="Life is tough, it's tougher when you're stupid. - John Wayne" text[75]="Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now." text[76]="The really efficient laborer will be found not to crowd his day with work, but will saunter to his task surrounded by a wide halo of ease and leisure. - Henry David Thoreau" text[77]="I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown" text[78]="Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! - Kermit the Frog" text[79]="Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-o to a tree." text[80]="Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark." text[81]="There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it." text[82]="And God said: \'Let there be satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don\'t blame everything on satan.\'- George Burns" text[83]="Life is alltogether shorter, longer and more exciting when risk is involved. Life is a risk by itself - take it!" text[84]="When you fail to plan, you plan to fail ... just a pity that my road to success seems to be constantly under construction." var mytext = text[rand1] //-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------